Why Do You Do This To Yourself?

Average cost of a Goruck Challenge: $120 Time: 12+ hours Distance: 20+ Miles

Cost of a Spaartan Sprint: $45 Distance: 5k plus obstacles

Cost of a Spartan Beast: $115 Distance: 10-12 Miles plus obstacles

Cost of the S.E.R.E. Performance Challenge: $125 Time: 12+ hours Distance: Unknown

Cost of the Goruck Scavenger: $120 Time: Uknown Distance: Unknown

Now factor in the cost of travel and expenses...got it?  Why the hell do I keep getting myself into these things??? Because there is some little voice in the back of my head telling me I can't do them. I've come to call this little voice the "Little Bastard", because that’s what he is. He's my fears and insecurities, he's right there when I think my butt is too big or when I can’t run as fast as my mom. I hate him, I loathe him, I wish he’d just shut up already and leave me alone. At the same time I hope he never does.  He’s the one I beat down every time I rise to meet a challenge, he’s the one that has me driven to finish. When I’m cold wet and miserable and he’s telling me “I told you so!” I’m smacking him in the face and keep on moving. Everyone has a version of the Little Bastard, he makes us doubt and question our abilities. He is the biggest motivator I have. I beat him down with every challenge I complete, because I know that if I don’t he’s going to get really loud and really obnoxious and he’s the only thing I’ll hear. There was a point in my life were I let the Little Bastard control everything I was doing, right after high school when I moved out and into to college, I didn’t do much of anything. I didn’t go to my classes I didn’t eat what I was supposed to hell I barely slept, I let the little bastard win. I still regret it, I made some huge mistakes that I’m still paying for today. With each challenge I overcome I can only hope that I’m making myself better for the future.  It’s why I’m running, it’s why I’m working two jobs, it’s why I’m going back to school, So that Little Bastard doesn’t win. I will win. I am the master of my fate.