What's One More?

Aren't my momma and I cute?

When I was in my junior year of high school my mom decided to train for a marathon. You have to understand that exercise was never really a big thing in my family, yes we are all yo-yo dieters but actual exercise, other than the occasional Tae Bo class, was really non-existent.   So with less than 6 months of training time she started running. When her running partner got hurt I thought for sure she would quit, but no she kept on running. At 45 years old my mom ran her first marathon in 6 hours. I still cannot begin to say how proud I am of her. Since then she has kept running, she’s run 5k’s, half marathons and even completed a sprint triathlon. She told me that when she first started running she felt like she was going to die every time, but now she enjoys running. She gets up every morning to run; it’s now a part of her routine. 

I love my mom but I hate that she loves running.

So I bet you've been wondering what I've got up my sleeve, haven’t you? Haven’t you!? Well, I figured since I sign myself up for every other idiotic race or challenge I can, find I might as well run a marathon. I can't hate running more than I do, can I? Here's the big question, which marathon should I choose to be my first? Which 26.2 mile even will pop my little marathon cherry? 

Also what the hell am I thinking?

Seriously though, isn’t anyone going to talk me out of this?

Why Do You Do This To Yourself?

Average cost of a Goruck Challenge: $120 Time: 12+ hours Distance: 20+ Miles

Cost of a Spaartan Sprint: $45 Distance: 5k plus obstacles

Cost of a Spartan Beast: $115 Distance: 10-12 Miles plus obstacles

Cost of the S.E.R.E. Performance Challenge: $125 Time: 12+ hours Distance: Unknown

Cost of the Goruck Scavenger: $120 Time: Uknown Distance: Unknown

Now factor in the cost of travel and expenses...got it?  Why the hell do I keep getting myself into these things??? Because there is some little voice in the back of my head telling me I can't do them. I've come to call this little voice the "Little Bastard", because that’s what he is. He's my fears and insecurities, he's right there when I think my butt is too big or when I can’t run as fast as my mom. I hate him, I loathe him, I wish he’d just shut up already and leave me alone. At the same time I hope he never does.  He’s the one I beat down every time I rise to meet a challenge, he’s the one that has me driven to finish. When I’m cold wet and miserable and he’s telling me “I told you so!” I’m smacking him in the face and keep on moving. Everyone has a version of the Little Bastard, he makes us doubt and question our abilities. He is the biggest motivator I have. I beat him down with every challenge I complete, because I know that if I don’t he’s going to get really loud and really obnoxious and he’s the only thing I’ll hear. There was a point in my life were I let the Little Bastard control everything I was doing, right after high school when I moved out and into to college, I didn’t do much of anything. I didn’t go to my classes I didn’t eat what I was supposed to hell I barely slept, I let the little bastard win. I still regret it, I made some huge mistakes that I’m still paying for today. With each challenge I overcome I can only hope that I’m making myself better for the future.  It’s why I’m running, it’s why I’m working two jobs, it’s why I’m going back to school, So that Little Bastard doesn’t win. I will win. I am the master of my fate.

Flight Leaving From Ft.Lauderdale......

When in reality you need the flight to leave from Tampa. I’m going to chalk this one up to me being a complete idiot. I know i checked the flight a thousand times but somehow it wasn't until I was driving to the airport I realized “Oh hey! Um I’m going to be stranded in Tampa! Awesome!” Then it sunk in, that Oh Shit feeling that happens when you realized you’ve made a mistake. It only took a frantic call to Southwest and another hundred dollars to get a flight home tonight. I’m starting to think I might have to cancel my adventure in DC, because of funds being so low. I hate being broke.

The Atkins, Weight watchers, Zone, South Beach, Nutra System, Alli, Oh SCREW THIS! Im Eating What I Want!

I'm a firm believer in portion control. I'm completely convinced that if you exercise more and eat in moderation you can be healthy. There’s too much focus on being skinny these days, I would love to lose a few more pounds but I’m healthy that’s what’s important to me. Eating in moderation and exercising is all you need to do to lose weight. That’s it people, that's all you have to do there's no special pill, shake, food, or program that makes you a size two overnight. Losing weight and being healthy isn’t easy but if you aren't going to treat your body like the temple it is then who will? Do you know what my temple deserves? Chocolate, real, amazingly good, expensive, and dark chocolate. 

I’m never going to deny myself food because it’s not in my “diet plan”, I will never think about the calories I’m wasting on food I enjoy. I work hard so I deserve some chocolate, and not just a cheap candy bar. I deserve a bar from Godiva because if I'm going to eat chocolate it's going to be good pure and expensive. When you splurge on food, go all out. I work hard for my money and I won’t waste it on a Hershey bar that I kind of like, I will invest in 50% to cacao, sprinkled with fleur de sel.  Good food is worth good money, think of it this way, you are investing money in the incredible machine your body is. Would you put cheap gas in a Ferrari? No, you would put premium fuel to get all you could out of the finely tuned automobile. As Americans we have made everything so cheap that it no longer satisfies to eat. Tell me when has a cheeseburger from McDonald's ever satisfied you? When has it ever made you exclaim, “Dear god that is the best thing I’ve ever eaten in my life!” I know I have never said it and I doubt you have either. You’d think that if we didn’t love what we were eating we would stop eating it. If you don't know what you're eating stop eating it! If it's cheap and processed and you probably wouldn’t give it to your dog why are you eating it? There shouldn’t be guilt in eating, I’ve heard it countless times “How could I have eaten that?” “How many calories do you think that was?” My family does it all the time; we make ourselves feel guilty for eating the food we enjoy. I refuse to do this anymore! I love food and I will always love food. Guilt has nothing to do with eating, unless you stole the food from a starving child, feel blessed that you have the funds to buy amazingly good succulent food.  Eat and be merry then go for a walk. Ta Da! Now there’s a diet plan I can get behind.

A Lazy Athlete

I am a lazy athlete. Sometimes I really don't want to do anything except sit on my couch and watch my DVR full of Law & Order: SVU. In some ways yes I guess I can be a little sick in twisted, I put myself in situation where running is the only way I can get home. My mom and I carpool to work but since she's a nurse, she sometimes has to stay late or could end up working a double.  This just means that at 3:30 when I'm ready to leave, I’m hoofing it home the 2.25 miles across Providence to my house. I come prepared usually. Running shoes, shorts, warm layers, all in my trusty back pack. Then sometimes I space out and get stuck running home in my scrubs. Those are the times I just tough it out and get home fast.  I’ll even challenge myself if I’m feeling particularly good, a round of elevated push-ups here, and a flight of stairs over there. Anything I can do to make myself just a little bit more exhausted. If I don’t feel like I’m going to die when I get home then I didn’t push myself hard enough. You have to remember that this type of workout works for me; I enjoy pushing myself to the limit, sometimes. If I didn’t push myself so hard I would just be lazy. I say I’m lazy because I don’t get up at 6am to do a work out and I don’t work out every day. Some people I know would scoff at the idea of not going to the gym every day. Whatever to them, I’m not a Gym Rat but I bet you I can kick any of those guys ass’s when I do workout. Every person has to find the thing they enjoy doing for me its learning to like running. Maybe you are a Zumba person, or maybe Crossfit, or kettlebells.  Hell even if you are a Gym Rat good for you, you are up and doing something. Keep it up people, there’s nothing wrong with being lazy sometimes, it doesn’t define you.  I sign up for the crazy challenges so I have something to work for. If I set a goal then I know I have to reach it. The biggest hurdle in being fit is ourselves. That evil little voice in the back of your head telling you that you aren’t good enough, you don’t look like a movie star, that you will never finish a race, smack that little bastard back and remember, YOU are already amazing. 

 By the way, that's me pulling a plane, a 757 to be exact. See I told you. Amazing :)

What The Hell Is This All About?

I hate running. I’m not kidding, I really hate running. It makes my legs itch. My face turns bright red and I feel like I’m going to pass out. I have never considered myself a runner, or even a big athlete. I was a cheerleader for 8 years but I was the one throwing girls in the air, (not a big need for running). I also played softball in high school, but since I was a crappy hitter the most I ever had to run was 90 feet. Even when I got to college I thought the occasional trip to the gym was helping me fend off those nasty freshmen 15 (Didn’t work at all!) I was the one in middle school who barely passed the gym tests and lied about going around the track four times to run a mile, doesn’t help that I was also a chubby kid. Now that I’m a bit older I have gotten comfortable with the fact that I’m not shaped like most girls, but when I was younger body image was a big low point for me.  I was always under the impression that if I wanted to look good I had to diet and be hungry all the time.  It also doesn’t help that I was always comparing myself to the teeny tiny cheerleaders I worked with.  Every woman has body image issues, but I think its society’s fault in general. Pop singers are size 0, Barbie dolls are the picture of perfection with an unattainable plastic body, and we alter ourselves with surgeries to “pretty”.  So I have given up on using society’s standards and have started setting my own for how I should look.  More importantly I am working on how I feel not only what my body looks like. Maybe I’ll change the way some people think, maybe I can be a role model for my family.  

And maybe one day I might actually like running.